The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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