Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
