I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
