I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
