I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
