Sry I called you an 8
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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