I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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