Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
