Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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