I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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