i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
