Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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