I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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