Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
