Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
