careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize