Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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