it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
