He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
