you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
