Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
