Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm always down for nudity.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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