If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
