Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
