Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
