OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
