i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The uberlube is also flammable
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
