Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
