WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
