I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
