Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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