i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
