? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
