Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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