Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Congratulations! We have a period
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
