i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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