Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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