fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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