It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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