take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
