Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize