i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
