Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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