It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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