i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
