She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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