you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
