I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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