yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
