My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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