I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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