Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jefe11_b hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.

Fav 12 6068 888
share tweet
(+44): View more from England

Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying

Fav 62 6892 1211
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.

Fav 12 1619 4890
share tweet
(808): View more from Hawaii

No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.

Fav 7 1916 1141
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.

Fav 8 2292 1028
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.

Fav 5 2217 703
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.

Fav 14 3080 862
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.

Fav 0 223 90
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.

Fav 1 82 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT