he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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