Whod you bang
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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