Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
