Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize