I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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