You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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