I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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