Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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