I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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