True but thats because hes a fetus.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
