I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
