You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize