32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
