so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
