You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
