My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
