oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just high enough for therapy.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
